What I Can't Have
by Fleur
Summary: They say the Bulma and Vegeta got together when one night Vegeta opened up to her. How did these two get together?! This is a little story of how many may think these two got together. One night he opened up to her and finally, the emotions both had tr


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What I Can't Have

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They say the Bulma and Vegeta got together when one night Vegeta opened up to her. That was AFTER the gravity chamber explosion. If it was before or after the break up with Yamchua… We're not sure, or at least I'm not. This is where Fan Fiction plays its big role. How did these two get together?! This is a little story of how many may think these two got together. One night he opened up to her and finally, the emotions both had tried to hide were finally set free.

You could say this takes place before my other little story, **How's It Going to Be**

This is a song fic. If you dun like, go away. The song featured is **ATC: My Heart Beats Like a Drum**

I don't own DBZ, so dun sue me, I just luv the show. ~: )

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His hard heavy breathing raged throughout the chamber. Push up after push up, crunch after crunch. Blasts, punches, kicks, all were exchanged in order to prove his strength to another. He couldn't except that someone, someone of low class blood, could be stronger than he. He wouldn't allow it. Not the great and mighty prince! He was far too proud and too arrogant to realize he would never amount to anything that _Kakkorot_ was. Vegeta bared his teeth to the invisible enemy he fought. He jumped high into the gravity burdened air and shot a blast to intercept his own. A burst erupted through the chamber leaving smoke to swirl around Vegeta as he stood gasping the heavy air. Cuts and bruises accentuated his tanned skin and sweat dripped off of him giving him a radiant glow. Sighing he shifted his eyes to the round windows looking outside. Bulma stood out in the blooming garden weeding it carefully. She kneeled down and wiped the sweat from her forehead with her arm and sighed as she looked up towards the sky. *I wonder what it would be like to have…* Vegeta twisted his hand in an almost beastly rage as he realized what he was thinking. He cursed silently to himself as he continued his back breaking training.

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I close my eyes close the door

I won't worry anymore

I've been waiting for you every day and every night

Bulma sat in the garden like that of a movie. In her white flowing dress she kneeled in the middle of a beautiful flower garden and they swayed in the wind and her dress glided along with the sea of flowers. Her shoulder length hair blew in the wind as she stared into the sky. The white dress swirled around her giving her the appearance of a living angel. With her lips pursed silently, instead of her usual temper, she sat contented in her place counting the clouds that tumbled by. She then rested her eyes on the gravity chamber where the brooding saiyan worked his body through and through. Though she could barely see his entire body from her view she could see glimpses of it through the tiny round windows. His heavy breathing, his muscular chest, his callused hands… They all enticed Bulma to jump in his arms but when she stared into his eyes, those dark demeaning eyes, all happiness was lost. They were so cold and empty and his wonderfully shaped lips moved into a scowl at every approach she made. She turned her head away from the chamber and stared back down to the contented garden. All the flowers were of such beautiful rainbow hues such as blues, yellows, reds, and purples. There was one flower that laid in this sea that was jade. So black compared to the others it seemed as if it would be impossible to touch. Bulma changed her view to that single flower and analyzed it with her eyes. *There's a flower I can never have.*

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Cut the light let it flee

I don't wanna be afraid

I've been waiting for you

Day turned to dusk as Bulma stepped out of her lab from her attempt of organizing her files and shouting at her machines. Vegeta, as well, decided that now would be a perfect time for dinner. Bulma walked down the halls towards the kitchen to help with the cooking when her eyes rested on Vegeta who was coming in from his training to bath and eat. As they entered the hall the two passed each other in such slowness. Their heads turned to face one another as they passed; both silent but with screaming eyes. They held each other's eyes for a moment as they passed one another. Vegeta kept his scowl on his face as he looked down on Bulma with his apathetic ebony eyes and Bulma stared up at him with her ocean gaze. It was only a second that they passed in the hall, but to each it was eternity. Their shoulders brushed as they moved passed and their sight broke as the space between them grew longer and longer. As Bulma reached the opening of the hall her heart beat rapidly in her chest as she breathed a sigh of relief… or of pleasure.

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Tonight it is right

Stars shine bright

I just really wanna be with you

Vegeta went up stairs to take his shower, his mind yelling at him for studying Bulma so affectionately. He growled in defiance of his own feelings and stepped into the steamy shower; his unruly hair bending in the water. *Why do I feel some kind of attraction to that woman? I don't understand it.* Vegeta tried to ignore his feelings as he lathered his body up with soap and his hair with shampoo. Stepping out of the shower he wrapped a towel around his waist and used his own energy to dry himself. He opened the door and walked out of the bathroom and began to make his way to his room. Bulma was coming out of her own room when she ran into the just recently bathed saiyan. She opened her mouth to give him a few words about how he should look where he was going when she noticed he only wore a towel around his waist. Her mind went blank as she spied at his body. Water beaded his skin making his muscles appear smooth and flawless. She saw scars that marked his body but other than that, he was perfect. Vegeta stared at her with an angry fire in his eyes wanting to push her aside as she blocked his path. Their eyes met again; his scowl still plastered on his face. *What the?* He watched her eyes as they ran over his body with a glint of interest. Vegeta tried to snap out of his trance of watching her to growl softly. Bulma's eyes finally went back to his as she heard his growl. A light blush sweeped over her cheeks as she saw that he had noticed her gawking at his body. She looked down shamefully and quickly mumbled that dinner would be ready in a moment. Vegeta quickly moved his eyes from her and pushed passed her. Bulma turned around to catch a last glimpse of the prince before he shut the door to his room. She pressed herself against the wall and sighed. Giving a soft giggle she thought to herself, *I think I like that prince.* She shook her head, surprised at her own thoughts, and made her way down stairs for dinner.

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I celebrate pray for the day

When all my wishes will be coming true

Dinner was quiet and hushed as the family, and the prince, ate dinner. Except the occasional remarks from Bulma's dad and mother it was unpleasantly silent. Bulma picked at her dinner and Vegeta devoured his without mess. Halfway during dinner Bulma looked up from her plate to watch Vegeta eat his dinner with such ease. She watched him shovel his food into his mouth with his chop sticks then swallow a glass of water to get it down. Vegeta stared up from his food occasionally to catch a glimpse of Bulma. Their eyes met, once again, and he held her eyes in place for only a moment. Bulma looked back down and continued to eat while Vegeta stared blankly forward at Bulma then placed his attention back to his food in hopes of escaping the uncomfortable meal. *Why do I keep staring at her? Why does she keep staring at me?* Vegeta didn't know what was wrong with him. He put down his food and placed a hand over his forehead, *No, no fever… Wait, I can't get sick!* He growled as he pulled his hand back down from his head and stared sickly at his food. Bulma's mother looked up from her food in concern, "Is something wrong Vegeta?" she asked with her high voice.

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My heart beats like a drum like a drum

And my feet step the beat like a drum

Vegeta stared back at her as if it was wrong for her to ask such a question, "No!" he shot back so that she would leave him alone. Bulma quickly looked up at Vegeta who seemed angry or confused about something. He looked at her and gave her a gaze that meant, 'What the hell are you looking at.' She quickly averted her eyes from his and excused herself from dinner. Bulma sprinted upstairs to her room and sat on her bed panting. *Shit shit shit… What was I doing down there!* Bulma shivered though it was warm and buried herself in the covers. *I can't have him, I don't want him.* Her mind tried to deny the fact that she liked Vegeta though her heart tried to tell her differently. She felt as if she was being split apart by her own feelings. She was so confused, she had broken up with Yamchua the other month and hadn't spoken to him since. He was just not the one for her as she had previously thought. It didn't help that Vegeta was around and since he had lived with Bulma she always seemed to eye him, even when Yamchua was around. She felt guilty about it and when she broke up with Yamchua he accused her of cheating on him with Vegeta. Though she shook her head in disgust and denial, she knew that he was right, even if it wasn't physically cheating, she cheated on him mentally when she continuously thought about Vegeta. Bulma twisted and turned on her bed trying to fall into a restless sleep in order to forget everything. Finally she fell into blackness and didn't wake up till late at night.

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I think of you every day

I've been waiting for a call

Just the sound of your voice

Vegeta flew onto the roof top of Capsule Corp. and sat with one leg pulled up to his chest and the other extended in front of him. He wasn't sure if he liked Bulma, he knew he was physically attracted to her, but mentally? *Gah, how could I like her? She is loud, obnoxious, pushy, proud, she is everything that… I am.* Vegeta's eyes widened and his mouth opened in surprise to his epiphany. She had reminded him of himself. He smirked at the thought of being with her; both not being able to get along. Vegeta shook his head of the disgusting thoughts. How could he _love _someone like that. He stared up into the night sky examining the stars. Stars so far away that marked distant galaxies that he could have taken over and conquered, but didn't. He could never have them. *Besides,* he thought, *She could never except me.* He turned his head away from the sky and placed his attention straight ahead and watched the city in its nightly activities. Emotions were so weak. He was taught that they are like invisible murderers. Stories floated around how elite soldiers of the saiyan race would feel love and bond with their mates. And when the mate died they became so tortured with their own emotions they killed themselves. Vegeta shuddered. *What if that happens to me?* He disregarded the fact of him dying because of a bond. *I don't need anyone.*

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Anytime and anyway

Dream of you since that day

It was 3:00 a.m. when Bulma moaned as she woke up. Her body was sweaty from all the twisting and turning she had done and groaned as she sat up. She picked up her clock and realized it was pretty late at night. Bulma laid back down and closed her eyes trying to return to sleep. Still restless she decided the best way to defeat it was to do something else. She stood up in her room and padded down stairs turning on dim lights in the kitchen. Walking towards the cupboard she took out a cup and filled it with water and began making herself a cup of tea. Once it was done she sat down at the table and sipped it quietly thinking to herself. *Vegeta…* She took another sip of tea. Her mind wandered back to the many times they made contact.

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When their eyes met, their bodies touched, how she talked to him, argued with him.

She sighed and took another sip.

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His eyes, his body

She brought her cup back to her mouth and sipped at it again. Was she going crazy? Bulma shrugged to herself, it was hard to deny his body, his eyes. She wondered what it would be like to be in his arms, to kiss his lips, to touch his body. To be his.

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Tonight it is right

Stars shine bright

I just really wanna be with you

Bulma suddenly stopped drinking when she felt as if someone was watching her. She glanced quickly around the room but found no one. She pushed her chair out and searched once again. Still, she saw no one. "Hello?" She asked to the empty room. Silence greeted her as she sat back down. "I'm going crazy," she mumbled to herself.

Vegeta stepped out of the shadows and stared at her intently waiting for her to match his gaze. Bulma placed her cup down again, this time she was sure there was a pair of eyes watching her. She turned around to meet his gaze. His cold, empty gaze. He walked forward towards the table and took the seat next to her. Bulma could do nothing but gasp. *What is he doing up so late?* Vegeta looked back at her, "Why are you up so late?"

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I celebrate pray for the day

When all my wishes will be coming true

Bulma picked up her tea and took a sip, "I couldn't sleep." Vegeta nodded and stared out of the kitchen window. He looked… depressed? "Why are **you** up so late?"

"Saiyans don't need as much sleep as humans," he snapped at her. Vegeta stared out the window intently. Time passed slowly as the silence surround the two. His eyes focused on the night while Bulma ran her fingers around the rim of the cup. Vegeta finally broke the silence. "I didn't want to be alone."

Bulma stared at him, *What is he talking about?* This time, Vegeta didn't meet her gaze. "What are you talking about?"

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My heart beats like a drum like a drum

And my feet step the beat like a drum

"I didn't like being alone. Ever. Once Freeza forced me to work for him I was… He was a bastard and insulted my race and smothered my pride. He might as well have killed me the way he treated me."

Bulma looked down at her tea, not sure what to say. "Then I came here. And I wanted to be immortal. And forever kill and destroy and conquer. I wanted to kill Freeza and rebuild my empire." Bulma stared at him again, *Why is he telling me this.* "But you… Kakkorot and his _buddies_ took that from me, as well as those who helped me, branding me once again alone."

Bulma placed her tea down, "That's not true! You could have stayed here!" She remembered that Goku was willing to let him go.

Vegeta shook his head, "No, I couldn't have. I'm supposed to be an elite soldier, and some low class baka beat me." Finally looking away from the window he rested his eyes on the table and closed them. "I must become stronger to beat him, but I just can't do it. I can't do…" His voice faded. For the first time, he didn't want to say what he was going to say. He just couldn't.

Bulma looked at him with forgiving eyes, allowing him to atone for his sins. "You can't do what?" She asked with interest.

Vegeta finally met her gaze, his eyes held emotion and were sorrowful, "I can't do it alone."

Bulma opened her mouth but closed it. What was she going to say? What was he trying to say? She looked back down onto the table not sure what to say. Her hands rested on her cup trying to think of what would be the correct and appropriate thing to say. She brought her eyes back up to meet his intent gaze. "I…"

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I close my eyes close the door

I won't worry anymore

I've been waiting for you

She just stared at him, drowning, her eyes calling for help. Vegeta reached his hand out and brushed it against her cheek. She looked at him, as she always did, and fell into his touch. He brought his face close to hers feeling her breath on him. Lightly, he brushed his lips over hers then came back to kiss her more passionately and fiercely. Her eyes widened before softening and closed them and kissed him back. He ran his hands through her hair and wrapped his arm around her pulling her out of her chair and onto his lap. The kiss stopped and eyes met. None knew what to say. Bulma reached out with her hand and brushed his cheek. His eyes full of questions and confusion. Bulma kissed him, telling him, without words, that he would not be alone. He just wrapped his arms around her waist pulling her closer trying to not be alone. He finally had what he thought he could never have. Emotions.

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My heart beats like a drum like a drum

And my feet step the beat like a drum

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ATC: My Heart Beats Like a Drum

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I hoped you liked it. It took me a while to get it out. Writer's block… I could so live without that. ~: )

~*~Laura~*~


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